Ego work isn’t sustainable!

I have been coaching for 20 years now. The latter 10 of which I have somewhat known what I was doing. The former 10, let’s not talk about the former 10.

In that time, I think there are two major types of people that can use the help of a coach. The first type are those who have developed fear around movement to the point of choosing a sedentary life or inactivity. Maybe from injury, accident, or any other personality-forming events that we encounter in our lives. I see this often where people suffering from back pain are hesitant to lift weights.

On the opposite side are those who may experience sensation fear and sensation in a different way. These folks usually barge right through fear, disregarding caution, often pushing themselves beyond their limits. I've witnessed this attitude in clients who, despite exhausting work schedules and minimal sleep, demand intense workouts, driven by a relentless pursuit of their goals.

I am going to use a personal story to highlight this person. We will speak about how former me and current me would and did deal with this scenario.

So I have a goal. My goal is to squat 2 times my body weight, around 400lbs. I don’t need this goal for health, it doesn't directly impact my well-being, nor does it offer tangible benefits. But who cares, I want to have something to strive for and achieve. Say I did it, for the sake of accomplishment.

Anyway, in order to achieve this goal, a good friend and genius strongman coach is my trainer. He has devised a program for me that I would never have been able to create given my own biases. He creates the program, I do the program. Easy.

BUT last week, we had a little problem. I still hadn’t fully recovered from the previous session. My sleep wasn’t great the night before, and my nutrition had been lacking all week. In general, I wasn’t taking it seriously. It gets to training time, and my body really doesn’t feel up for a heavy session. All the preceding factors coupled with the sluggish warm-up and general lethargy meant I shouldn’t be doing this session.

However, old me was rearing its ego-fueled head. The part of me that says ‘screw your feelings and lift the thing’. Otherwise, you’ll never achieve anything and will ultimately be a useless human. (Old me is mean sometimes)

Luckily though, my body and I have developed a much better relationship in the last decade. Thankfully, as I was doing a warm-up kettlebell snatch, I felt a sharp, sudden, and isolated pain in my hamstring. This was a GODSEND! It was my body's confirmation that today was not the day, so shift gears and live to fight another day.

So what happened, really? Well, it was probably a very slight hamstring pull. It was a little scary in the moment. But I did some lighter movements and explored what my body could handle. The pain wasn’t lasting and didn’t seem to recur unless I added speed to the movement. PERFECT. Nothing majorly wrong here.

Instead, I received valuable feedback from my body, asking me to adjust intensities and movement patterns. My body had been signaling subtly, but I wasn't listening until it sent a clear warning.

I changed the session to be more fluid, use lighter weights, and focus on movement quality and breathing over pushing the load. The result? I was fine the next day, able to train hard the day after, and take one more step towards my goals.

That was current me in action. But to play that out with former me, it would have looked like this. Ignoring the signs that I shouldn’t be training hard that day. Disregarding the slight pull in the hamstring. And this is where our paths would diverge. Former me would have pushed through, likely exacerbating the injury. Simply not listening to my body's pleas for recovery and expecting peak performance.

This would eventually lead to a real injury, laying me up for a week or four. I would then stew and build resentment with my body. “Why are you failing me, why are you injured all the time!?” This would throw me back into what I call the pain cycle, pushing me further away from my actual goal.

For me, this represents an ego and patience challenge. Although former me may not have been afraid of movement, I would have been afraid to slow down, afraid to stop pushing, afraid to be still and soft. As I always say, you either learn when to rest or your body will force you to rest. The latter is what used to happen to me all the time. My egoic unwillingness to listen to my body's true needs over chasing some arbitrary goal.

I now approach things with more mindfulness, focusing on sustainability. Yes, I have goals, and I love pushing limits, but I do so intentionally and consciously through a holistic lens!

To finish practically: If former me sounds familiar, allow yourself some patience. We’ll all get there in the end, and if we don’t, who cares? No one is going to remember your six-pack or the weight you lifted. What matters is showing up physically for the things in life that truly matter. If you're constantly pushing limits without intention and mindfulness, you will eventually pay the price.